The Compass Chronicles Podcast
The Compass Chronicles: Faith, Fandom, and Life
Hosted by Javier
Welcome to The Compass Chronicles: Faith, Fandom, and Life, a podcast that navigates the intersections of belief, imagination, and real-world application. Hosted by Javier, this show brings together the thoughtful, Bible-based insights of Faith Compass and the pop culture-savvy heart of The Faithful Geek.
Each episode dives deep into scripture, asking big questions about God, purpose, and spiritual growth—while also celebrating the movies, music, comics, and fandoms that shape our culture. Whether we're unpacking theological themes through Marvel superheroes, anime arcs, or wrestling with tough truths from the Gospels, The Compass Chronicles offers a fresh, engaging perspective for anyone seeking to live out their faith in a modern, media-saturated world.
With thought-provoking conversations, honest reflections, and a whole lot of heart, Javier helps listeners explore what it means to follow Christ with both conviction and creativity.
This is not merely academic theology or mere fandom. It’s the real, raw, and relevant journey of walking by faith with a lightsaber in one hand and a Bible in the other.
The Compass Chronicles Podcast
Through the Fog: How Doubt Clears the Way to Truth Pt.1
Faith and doubt aren't enemies – they're dance partners in an authentic spiritual journey. This first episode of our two-part series tackles the provocative question: Is doubt actually a sin? The answer might surprise you.
Stepping beyond shallow platitudes, we dive deep into Scripture's raw portrayal of doubt. From the desperate father crying "I believe; help my unbelief" to Thomas demanding physical proof of resurrection, the Bible doesn't hide spiritual struggle – it highlights it. What's stunning is how Jesus responds to these moments not with condemnation but with compassion and presence.
We carefully distinguish doubt (faith in process) from unbelief (willful rejection), exploring how spiritual giants like David, Job, and even Jesus himself experienced profound questioning. Their stories reveal that doubt isn't spiritual weakness but often the crucible where stronger faith emerges. As Timothy Keller notes, faith without questioning risks becoming mere superstition rather than genuine conviction.
Perhaps most poignantly, we address doubt born from church hurt and spiritual abuse. When those representing God cause pain, disillusionment naturally follows. Yet even here, Scripture offers healing perspectives, showing how Jesus himself confronted religious hypocrisy while tenderly caring for the wounded.
Whether your questions stem from intellectual wrestling, painful experiences, or life's unavoidable complexities, this episode offers practical steps for navigating doubt without shame. Join us as we discover how our questions, honestly brought before God, can become the very pathway to deeper wisdom and more resilient faith.
Don't miss part two where we'll explore intellectual doubts, the gift of mystery, and how all roads of honest questioning lead back to Jesus. Your spiritual journey – questions and all – matters deeply to God.
I would love to hear from you!
For listeners looking to deepen their engagement with the topics discussed, visit our website or check out our devotionals and poetry on Amazon, with all proceeds supporting The New York School of The Bible at Calvary Baptist Church. Stay connected and enriched on your spiritual path with us!
Welcome to the Compass Chronicles podcast. Where faith meets fandom, life gets real and every step of your journey reveals a deeper purpose. This is Javier, your host and fellow traveler on this winding road of faith, whether you're tuning in from your car, your kitchen or your favorite reading spot. I'm glad you're here Today. We're beginning a two-part journey into a topic that doesn't always get the spotlight it deserves, which is doubt. Specifically, we're asking the question is doubt a sin? And, spoiler alert, we're going to find that doubt, rather than being a spiritual defect, might actually be a stepping stone toward a deeper, more resilient faith.
Speaker 1:This isn't just about philosophical pondering. This is about real life, those moments when our faith wobbles, whether in a hospital room after a painful breakup, or in a season of silence where God just seems absent. And yet scripture doesn't silence those questions. It gives them a voice. In this first part, we'll explore what the Bible says about doubt, look at real examples from scripture and wrestle with how doubt shows up when life gets messy or when the church itself becomes a source of pain. Part two will dive into intellectual doubts, the gift of mystery and how all of this points us back to Jesus. So let's get started, but first, let's pray together. Heavenly Father, thank you for being big enough to handle our questions. Thank you that you meet us in the mess, not just in our moments of clarity. As we explore doubt today, give us hearts that are open minds that are hungry for truth, and a spirit that's tender toward your voice. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Speaker 1:Doubt it's not exactly the word we expect to hear in a church service or a Bible study. In fact, in many Christian circles, just admitting that we struggle with doubt can feel like confessing a secret sin. It's the elephant in the pew, the thing we all wrestle with at some point, but hardly anyone wants to talk about out loud. And yet, if we open the pages of Scripture, we find doubt sitting in the middle of the story more often than we think. Let's start with a powerful scene from the Gospel of Mark. In Mark, chapter 9, verse 24, a desperate father brings his afflicted son to Jesus. With raw honesty he pleads, I believe, help my unbelief. That moment, so simple and so profound, captures the tension so many of us feel. We believe, yes, but there's also a tug of uncertainty, a part of us that hesitates, questions, even fears. And Jesus doesn't rebuke the man, he doesn't say come back when you've got your faith all sorted out. No, jesus heals his son. He responds with compassion and power. That interaction tells us something significant. Jesus meets us in the middle of our belief and our unbelief, that sacred in-between place. It's not off limits. In fact, it might just be where transformation happens. To move forward, we have to clarify something Doubt is not the same as unbelief.
Speaker 1:They're close cousins, maybe even siblings, but they're not identical twins. Unbelief is a willful rejection of God's truth. It's the decision to say I hear what you say, god, but I choose not to trust you. That's what we see in the hardened hearts of the Pharisees who witnessed Jesus' miracles and still plotted to destroy him. Doubt, on the other hand, is the space where faith is still working things out. It's what happens when our head and our heart aren't quite on the same page yet, when we're trying to believe but we have questions and the good news Scripture gives us plenty of room to be in that space. Take the book of Psalms. It's full of cries like how long, o Lord, and why have you forsaken me? That's not sanitized spirituality. That's faith in process. David, who penned many of those Psalms, was called a man after God's own heart, not because he never doubted, but because even in his doubt he turned toward God.
Speaker 1:Timothy Keller, in the Reason for God, explains that doubt, when approached sincerely, can serve as a refining fire for faith. It burns away superficial beliefs and forces us to ask what do I really believe and why? Keller writes that faith without some level of questioning is more like superstition than conviction. Real faith grows stronger when it's been tested. And, let's be real, some of us were handed a version of Christianity that didn't prepare us for this. Maybe we grew up hearing the Bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it. There's a simplicity and beauty in childlike faith. But when we face complex life issues, when the doctor's report is bad, when the job falls through, when we lose someone we love, suddenly just believe harder doesn't feel like enough. That's when doubt enters the scene. But instead of seeing doubt as an enemy, what if we saw it as an opportunity?
Speaker 1:Cs Lewis, one of the most influential Christian writers of the 20th century, didn't come to faith through blind acceptance. He came by way of rigorous questioning In Mere Christianity. He explains that his journey to belief was filled with intellectual and emotional struggle. He describes his conversion as being dragged, kicking and screaming into the kingdom. That doesn't sound like the polished testimony we hear on stage, but it's honest and relatable. Lewis later wrote that faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. That quote has anchored many believers who find themselves swaying between belief and uncertainty. Faith, in other words, is not the absence of doubt, it's the choice to trust in the presence of doubt.
Speaker 1:We can't have a conversation about doubt without talking about Thomas. You know, doubting Thomas, that's the label he's been stuck with for centuries. But if we look at his story closely in John chapter 20, we see something profound. After the resurrection, the other disciples tell Thomas we've seen the Lord. But Thomas replies unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, I will not believe. It's a strong statement, but not without reason. Thomas wanted to believe. He just needed proof. And what does Jesus do? He shows up. He meets Thomas right in his place of doubt. He doesn't shame him or exclude him from the group. Instead he says Put your finger here, see my hands, stop doubting and believe. Thomas responds with a declaration of worship. That's not just a redemption story. It's a model for how Jesus handles our uncertainty. He doesn't dismiss us. He invites us closer.
Speaker 1:So if scripture gives us permission to doubt, and if even the heroes of our faith David, job, thomas and more experienced it, why do we treat it like a spiritual disease? Part of the reason is fear. We fear what we don't understand. We fear where our questions might lead. What if asking one question opens a floodgate of uncertainty? What if it shakes the foundation of what we've always believed? But here's the truth If our faith can't withstand honest questions it's not as sturdy as we thought and if we truly believe that God is real, that His word is true and that Jesus is who he says he is, then Christianity should be the most intellectually and spiritually resilient worldview on the planet.
Speaker 1:Doubt doesn't have to be a detour. It can be a catalyst. So what do you do when you're in that foggy middle ground, believing but struggling? Here are a few steps that can anchor you. Acknowledge it. Pretending the doubt isn't there doesn't make it go away. Name it. Be honest in prayer, like the psalmist were. Remember God already knows what's in your heart. Talk to trusted believers. Find someone who won't shame you for asking hard questions, whether it's a mentor, a pastor or a small group member. Talking through your doubt can bring clarity.
Speaker 1:Dig into scripture not just the feel-good verses but the whole counsel of God. Ask what does the Bible actually say about this topic? Use a study Bible or commentary to guide you deeper. Read widely Books like the Reason for God by Tim Keller, mere Christianity by CS Lewis and even writings by John Calvin or Charles Spurgeon can give rich insight from those who've walked the same road. Pray for wisdom. James 1, verse 5 says If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. Doubt can be the beginning of a deeper wisdom if we bring it to the Lord.
Speaker 1:There's something refreshingly raw about the Bible. It doesn't try to gloss over the gritty parts of the human experience. It's not afraid to show us people in the middle of their deepest struggles, especially when those struggles involve questioning God. If doubt were a sin, you'd expect the Bible to keep it hidden, tucked away behind the glowing stories of faith and miracles. But it doesn't. Instead, it brings those stories of wrestling right into the light.
Speaker 1:One of the most powerful examples of this comes from a man named Job. His story opens with tragedy, unimaginable loss His wealth, his children, his health, all gone in a matter of moments. If anyone had reason to doubt the goodness or justice of God, it was Job, and he doesn't stay silent about it. In Job, chapter 3, verse 11, he cries out why did I not perish at birth and die as I came from the womb? That's not just a bad day, that's despair. Speaking, that's a man grappling with God in the depths of suffering. And what's so striking is that God doesn't rebuke Job for asking those questions. In fact, by the end of the book, god affirms Job's honesty. Even when Job's friends try to defend God with overly simplistic answers, god says in Job, chapter 42, verse 7, you have not spoken of me. What is right, as my servant, job has Let that sink in. The man who yelled, cried and questioned is the one God says got it right. Because Job was honest. He brought his full hurting heart to God rather than pretending everything was okay.
Speaker 1:This brings us to a critical insight. Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Apathy is when you doubt. You're still engaging, you're still in the ring, wrestling it out. That's what we see with Job. He never stopped talking to God, even when he was angry or confused. He didn't turn away and God met him there. The same is true in the story of Jacob, who literally wrestles with God in Genesis, chapter 32. The narrative describes a mysterious figure, often interpreted as a manifestation of God or an angel, who wrestles with Jacob all night. Jacob refuses to let go until he receives a blessing, and by morning not only does he get that blessing, but he's given a new name Israel, which means he struggles with God. That's not just a name, it's a legacy. The entire nation of Israel is named after a man who physically and spiritually wrestled with the Almighty. That's a divine endorsement of honest struggle. So if you've ever felt like wrestling with God disqualifies you from faith, jacob's story says otherwise. Sometimes the ones who wrestle the hardest receive the greatest clarity and calling.
Speaker 1:Another towering figure in the Bible who wrestled deeply with doubt is David. We know David as the shepherd boy who became king, the man who killed Goliath and the poet behind most of the Psalms. He's described in 1 Samuel, chapter 13, verse 14, as a man after God's own heart. But have you ever stopped and read some of the things David wrote In Psalm 13, verses 1 and 2, david pleads how long, o Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and, day after day, have sorrow in my heart? That doesn't sound like someone cruising on spiritual autopilot. That sounds like a man who feels abandoned, confused and deeply alone. And yet in that same psalm, just a few verses later, he declares in verse 5, but I trust in your unfailing love. My heart rejoices in your salvation. Do you see the movement there, from despair to trust, from doubt to worship? That's not spiritual whiplash, it's honest, messy faith. David never denies his doubts, he brings them. Now let's turn to Jeremiah.
Speaker 1:Often called the weeping prophet, he had one of the hardest jobs in scripture delivering messages of judgment and warning to a rebellious people who didn't want to hear it, and it broke him. In Jeremiah, chapter 20, verse 7, he says to God you deceived me, lord, and I was deceived. You overpowered me and prevailed I am. That's not the voice of someone who's coasting through obedience. That's a prophet questioning the very God who called him. And yet God doesn't zap Jeremiah for irreverence. He lets him speak, he lets him cry, he lets him question. That's not weak faith. It's raw, resilient faith, a faith that doesn't need to put on a happy face to be accepted by God.
Speaker 1:Even Jesus himself had a moment of soul-deep wrestling. In Matthew, chapter 26, verse 39,. As he prayed in the garden the night before his crucifixion, he cried out my Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Jesus wasn't doubting God's existence or character, but he was experiencing the full weight of what was to come, and it pressed him to the point of sweating blood, as we're told in Luke, chapter 22, verse 44. That moment tells us that even the Son of God experienced internal conflict. Even he had a moment of asking Is there another way? And that moment is recorded, not to weaken our view of Christ, but to show us his complete humanity. It assures us that Jesus understands our moments of doubt, not just intellectually but experientially, as the writer of Hebrews puts it in Hebrews 4, verse 15, for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who, in every respect, has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. That means your questions don't scare him. Your wrestling doesn't repulse him, he gets it, he's been there. So here's a key takeaway Honest doubt can lead to a more honest, more mature faith.
Speaker 1:Think of it like this when a builder wants to test the strength of a structure, they don't pat it gently, they apply pressure, they stress it, they put weight on it. The goal isn't to break it, but to make sure it holds. That's what doubt does to our faith. It applies pressure, it exposes weaknesses and, when handled rightly, it leads us to reinforce the foundation, to ask better questions, to go deeper in scripture, to find clarity and conviction in God's truth. That's why Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 13, verse 5, examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. That kind of self-examination isn't a sin, it's a command and it's a healthy part of spiritual growth.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, not every church culture creates room for that kind of examination. Some communities, whether intentionally or not, treat doubt like a virus that must be eradicated immediately. People with questions are hushed, sidelined or given quick, shallow answers. But when we do that, we risk creating an atmosphere of performance instead of transformation. The early church didn't operate like that.
Speaker 1:In Acts, chapter 15, we see the Apostles wrestling with a huge theological question Do Gentile believers need to follow Jewish law. That's not a small issue, and instead of sweeping it under the rug, the leaders gathered in Jerusalem to debate, study Scripture and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance. That process was messy, but it was holy. The takeaway a healthy church isn't afraid of tough questions. It leans into them with grace and truth. There's something else we can't miss here Doubt is easier to navigate when we're not alone.
Speaker 1:In Galatians, chapter 6, verse 2, paul urges the church to bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. Doubt is one of those burdens. It can feel crushing when carried in isolation, but lighter when shared in community. That's why it's so important to have spiritual friendships. People who don't flinch when you say I'm not sure what I believe about this or this part of the Bible confuses me. Friends who don't rush to fix you, but who sit with you, listen, pray and point you back to truth. That kind of community can make all the difference. Let's be honest for a minute.
Speaker 1:Some of the deepest spiritual wounds don't come from atheists or skeptics. They come from within the walls of the church. And when that happens, the fallout can be intense. It's one thing to wrestle with theology or cultural challenges to your faith, but it's something else entirely to feel betrayed by the very people who were supposed to walk with you in grace, truth and love. So what do we do when our doubt is less about doctrine and more about damage? It's a question more and more believers are asking, and not just those on the fringes. Many who have been deeply embedded in church life are starting to wrestle with doubt after experiencing spiritual abuse, manipulation, hypocrisy or deep disappointment. These aren't small offenses. They shake our confidence not only in church leadership, but sometimes in the very God those leaders represent. Here's something we need to affirm right up front Doubt that arises from pain is valid.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. If someone you trusted misused their power, misrepresented scripture or failed to practice what they preached, and that experience left you questioning what's real and who God truly is, you're not alone and you're not wrong for feeling disoriented. One of the greatest tragedies in Christian culture is when hurting believers are told things like you just need to forgive and move on or don't let your feelings cloud your faith. But those responses don't heal, they dismiss. And when pain gets dismissed, doubt often festers in the shadows.
Speaker 1:Let's look at scripture to see what God says, not just about faith and doubt, but about injustice and woundedness. Jesus had strong words for religious leaders who misused their influence. In Matthew, chapter 23, he unleashes a series of scathing rebukes against the Pharisees. Verse 27 says Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you are like whitewashed tombs which outwardly appear beautiful but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. That's not just colorful language, that's the Son of God standing up against spiritual deception and hypocrisy. He wasn't indifferent to religious leaders abusing power. He confronted it head on. So if you've been hurt by leaders who wore a mask of righteousness but operated with control, manipulation or even cruelty behind the scenes, jesus sees that and he cares. The gospel isn't on the side of the oppressor. It's on the side of the broken, the wounded and the seeking.
Speaker 1:We sometimes romanticize the early church as a perfect community of harmony and love, and while it was certainly spirit-filled and committed to Christ, it was also deeply human. In Galatians, chapter 2, we read about a conflict between the apostle Paul and the apostle Peter. Paul calls Peter out publicly because Peter was behaving hypocritically, eating with Gentiles in private but distancing himself from them in public when other Jews were around. Paul writes in verse 14, I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel. That's a huge deal. Even Peter the Rock, on whom Christ said he would build his church, had moments of moral failure and inconsistency, and scripture doesn't hide it. Instead, it documents it to show that even leaders need correction and that the gospel is bigger than any one person's behavior.
Speaker 1:If you've experienced church hurt, please know this. You are not alone in history and you are not forgotten by God. The word disillusionment literally means the removal of an illusion, and that can actually be a painful gift. Many of us enter the church expecting it to be a refuge from the messiness of life, and in many ways it should be. But when we realize that the church is filled with broken people who sometimes wound each other, we face a crossroads. We can let our disillusionment drive us away from faith entirely, or we can let it strip away false expectations and lead us toward a more real, resilient faith. Let's be clear that doesn't mean excusing abusive behavior. There's no spiritual merit in pretending something wasn't wrong but it does mean recognizing that God is not synonymous with the people who misrepresent him. Just because someone acted in God's name doesn't mean they reflected God's heart, and when that distinction becomes clear, it can actually be a turning point in your journey, not toward cynicism but toward clarity.
Speaker 1:So what do you do when you're in that place, when you're unsure whether you can trust church again, or even whether you want to? Here are a few gentle, honest steps forward. Acknowledge the pain. Denial doesn't protect faith, it poisons it. If you've been hurt, don't try to downplay it. Bring it into the light, whether that means talking to a counselor, a trusted friend or writing it out in a journal. Just get it out of the shadows. Separate God from people. People are made in God's image, but they are not God. If someone failed you, lied to you or manipulated you, that reflects their brokenness, not God's character.
Speaker 1:Go back to scripture and ask who is Jesus really. Let him reintroduce himself to you. Give yourself time. Healing doesn't happen overnight. You don't have to rush back into church attendance or ministry involvement. Take time to process, time to rebuild and, yes, time to doubt. Wrestle and be honest. Seek healthy spiritual community. Not every church is the same. While some may have been unhealthy or even toxic, there are others led by humble, spirit-led people who genuinely want to reflect Jesus. Finding that kind of community might take effort, but it's worth it.
Speaker 1:Invite God into the pain. This one is key. Don't just ask God to remove the pain. Invite Him to sit with you in it. Let Him speak to you through Scripture, through stillness, through the gentle nudging of His Spirit. He doesn't just fix our wounds, he walks with us through them. One of the most comforting images in all of Scripture is found in Psalm 23. In verse 4, david writes that's the promise, not that we'll never walk through darkness, but that we will not walk it alone.
Speaker 1:Jesus describes himself in John, chapter 10, verse 11, as the good shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep. That's who he is. He's not distant from your hurt. He's not ashamed of your questions. He's not impatient with your grief. He lays not ashamed of your questions. He's not impatient with your grief. He lays Himself down for you. If you've been disillusioned by church, let Jesus be your shepherd. Let Him lead you beside still waters. Let Him restore your soul.
Speaker 1:Healing from church hurt is not a linear journey. Some days you might feel hope, other days anger and still others confusion. That's okay. Restoration is not about returning to where you were before. It's about moving forward with new wisdom and a more grounded faith. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is to read scripture, not as a to-do list but as a love letter.
Speaker 1:Spend time in the gospels, watch how Jesus treated the outcasts, the doubters, the brokenhearted. That's your savior, that's your model of faith. And remember restoration is not about pretending the hurt didn't happen. It's about believing that God is still good even when people are not. In Isaiah, chapter 42, verse 3, we're told a bruised reed he will not break and a faintly burning wick he will not quench. God is gentle with the wounded. He doesn't crush the fragile, he restores them. So if your flame of faith feels like it's barely flickering, know this he's not here to blow it out, he's here to fan it back to life. Well, friends, that's where we'll pause, for today We've walked through the raw reality of doubt, how it shows up in scripture, how it tests our faith and how it can emerge from the pain of life or even the church. Next time, in part 2, we'll pick up with the intellectual side of doubt, those head versus heart moments, and explore how mystery, maturity and hope all lead us back to Jesus.
Speaker 1:I hope you'll join me then, for now, if this stirred something in you. Don't hesitate to reach out. Visit us at wwwthecrossroadscollectiveorg. Email me at jm at thecrossroadscollectiveorg. We'd love to pray with you or just listen. This is Javier signing off from the Compass Chronicles. Keep the compass steady, keep walking and I'll see you for part two. God bless you and take care. Thank you.
